Problems With a Girl a Unicorn other stories edition by Nick Earls Exciting Press Literature Fiction eBooks
Download As PDF : Problems With a Girl a Unicorn other stories edition by Nick Earls Exciting Press Literature Fiction eBooks 
Four short stories, including Problems with a Girl & a Unicorn; The Truth of Jacarandas; Dog One, Dog Two; and Plaza.
Problems With a Girl & a Unicorn
The girl seems so sensible. Responsible, even. Stanley doesn’t mind sharing a flat with her.
The unicorn isn’t so accommodating.
The Truth of Jacarandas
"This should be one of the better days. This is the day when you find out you've passed your PY exams and you’re now a chartered accountant. People are quite excited for you."
You're quite excited for you, too, as you ride the lift up to your new office, and you'd remain excited, too, except then you met the man beyond the window. The man who paints the sky, who can make the world rain red wine, the man who reveals the truth of jacarandas.
It's a truth unlike any you might have expected, and maybe you curse it. Because you could have been happy. You could have been a chartered accountant. But now you know the truth of jacarandas and of men who paint the skys beyond the pane, and even if you wanted to return to your work station and your desk and your mouse pad, there would still be the pick to explain.
And how could you ever explain the pick?
Dog One, Dog Two
“You are unsure of all of this, but maybe that’s just you.”
You started with marmosets before you moved on to dogs, but maybe all the laboratory testing and medical experimentation is getting the better of you. Between your boss and his flatulence and the wide-gazing eyes of the mammals under your supervision--you couldn’t really call it your care, after all, or should you--is there any way to maintain your sanity?
Probably not.
Plaza
"There was a Woolies on the site originally. Or perhaps a newsagent and a hairdresser and an empty bank building, with a Woolies across the road. This is of vague historical interest only, for when they built the plaza they planned for expansion and soon enough it jumped the road, a fat foot of a department store on a spindly travelator of a leg. And each time the plaza became bigger, it became twice as big again."
Now there's only the travelator, and the Plaza, the dome of which expands so quickly that no one on the travelator can remember their destination, anymore. Their watches die although it always seems like the same day, there, in the dome.
"What all of these tales have in common is masterfully crafted prose, dry but sympathetic observation and an engrossing allusion to a larger, unseen world." - Sydney Morning Herald on Nick Earls' short fiction
Problems With a Girl a Unicorn other stories edition by Nick Earls Exciting Press Literature Fiction eBooks
Talk about your basic personality conflicts! This "interesting" tale involves, not surprisingly, a guy, a girl, and a unicorn. They are roommates, with the girl being the most recent one to join the household. The unicorn does not like the girl, and she reciprocates in kind. The poor boy is left trying to make peace with both, but not with any success. The bulk of the tale consists of the unicorn and the boy sitting on the back porch, where the unicorn smokes cigarettes while complaining about the girl. His current rant is that he is absolutely convinced the girl is actually defecating in the "reading room", and sticking scented paper "up her end". He finds it absolutely, unacceptably disgusting that anyone would defecate inside the house! Apparently she feels the garden isn't good enough for her, and the unicorn wants the boy to have a talk with her about this abhorrent practice of hers. It does not end well.This was a rather clever concept for a tale. Other than that, I don't know whether to say it was cute, or funny, or gross, or entertaining, or just plain weird! There was way too much profanity for the younger set (who knew unicorns were so foul-mouthed?), so I absolutely recommend against getting this for anyone under 18, even though they've heard all those words since elementary school. I gave it 3 stars because, in some strange way, I DID kind of like it, but I surely couldn't say why. My best advice would be to grab a copy while it's free, and see what YOU think. Then post a review, so others can get a clearer picture of what they might think about it.
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Problems With a Girl a Unicorn other stories edition by Nick Earls Exciting Press Literature Fiction eBooks Reviews
The book is an amusing. short story about a unicorn a boy and a girl. In the beginning it is quite amusing with a tragic almost humorous ending. All in all it was good.
Nick Earls is the most wonderful author, and this is just pure gold. An obnoxious talking unicorn can't cope with a female housemate, with disastrous consequences. A truly original and funny story!
Quirky. A little different for Nick Earls. A quick and enjoyable read. Great for summer. Oh dear, three more words.
I have to say I really enjoyed this story. Short, funny, entertaining, quirky, and well worth your time. Beware of the foul language if that is something that offends you, but it's LOL, and I loved the characters right from the start. Read it! I'm going to have to check out more from Nick Earls.
The best thing about 's free books is that, amid the inevitable dross, there's sometimes a shiny new discovery. I'm a huge Tanith Lee fan, and somehow this story's inevitability - totally unexpected yet completely logical in retrospect - reminds me of Lee's work. And, in a skewed way, that of Shaun Tan, another personal favorite. I'm off now to buy a bunch of his other work!
If Franz Kafka and Nick Hornby had a love child, which was later adopted and raised by Tom Robbins, that kid would probably grow up to one day write "Problems With a Girl & a Unicorn." Thankfully, readers like myself don't have to hold their breath waiting for a hypothetical love child, thanks to Nick Earls and his inventive imagination. "Problems With a Girl & a Unicorn" was my first exposure to Earls' writing and I can't wait to read more. Highly recommended.
I am a life-long reader of fantasy and sci-fi. To begin with, regardless of the word "unicorn" in the title, this is not a fantasy story. It is more or a commentary on living with roomates and the human condition, with a black-humor twist. Reminded me a little bit of some Peter S Beagel short stories. All in all, I found the writing style good, the viewpoint unique and refreshing, and the story breif, but solid.
Talk about your basic personality conflicts! This "interesting" tale involves, not surprisingly, a guy, a girl, and a unicorn. They are roommates, with the girl being the most recent one to join the household. The unicorn does not like the girl, and she reciprocates in kind. The poor boy is left trying to make peace with both, but not with any success. The bulk of the tale consists of the unicorn and the boy sitting on the back porch, where the unicorn smokes cigarettes while complaining about the girl. His current rant is that he is absolutely convinced the girl is actually defecating in the "reading room", and sticking scented paper "up her end". He finds it absolutely, unacceptably disgusting that anyone would defecate inside the house! Apparently she feels the garden isn't good enough for her, and the unicorn wants the boy to have a talk with her about this abhorrent practice of hers. It does not end well.
This was a rather clever concept for a tale. Other than that, I don't know whether to say it was cute, or funny, or gross, or entertaining, or just plain weird! There was way too much profanity for the younger set (who knew unicorns were so foul-mouthed?), so I absolutely recommend against getting this for anyone under 18, even though they've heard all those words since elementary school. I gave it 3 stars because, in some strange way, I DID kind of like it, but I surely couldn't say why. My best advice would be to grab a copy while it's free, and see what YOU think. Then post a review, so others can get a clearer picture of what they might think about it.
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